Tenchi Muyo: Fortune is Female - Chap. 2
Tenchi excused himself and followed after Ayeka, hoping that she would hear what he had to say despite the pain he knew she was feeling. He could hear her sobbing through her door, making him hesitate to knock, but he did so at last. Ayeka's crying ceased at the sound, and there was a moment of silence before Tenchi finally spoke.
"Ayeka?" he said at last. "May I..may I please come in and speak with you?"
There was another moment of hesitation. "Go away, Tenchi", she said at last, a strain to remain composed evident in her tone. "Just go away.
Leave me alone."
The sound was close, and Tenchi thought she was most likely leaning against the door. He sat in front of it and closed his eyes, wishing that this could be easier.
"Ayeka, I never meant to hurt you. I should have told you before, but I was afraid. I guess I just wanted to hold onto the way things were for a little while longer, because I knew that this would change everything once it came out. You, Sasami, Washu, Ryoko...you're all part of my family now, and I thought that everyone should know as a family, just to be fair."
Another moment of silence, and then the door opened. Ayeka stood
there, and her body language spoke quite eloquently that he was to enter, though her face remained neutral. He rose and did so, taking a seat beside her bed. She closed the door and sat near him on the edge, her hands in her lap.
"Beside your chair you'll find my lute, Lord Tenchi. Would you hand it to me, please?"
Tenchi blinked, then did as she asked. Ayeka ran her fingers over the lacquered finish for just a moment, then began to play. The song was quiet at first, almost shy, but it grew in strength and beauty with each bar, filling the sad, lonely room with a joy and warmth that was astounding.
There was passion in the notes, and in the playing, and Tenchi felt his eyes beginning to tear up as the song flowed like a beautiful, tangible dream through his heart.
As she ceased, Tenchi found that he did not have the words to speak.
Ayeka laid the instrument aside and looked at him, folding her hands once again in her lap.
"My music teacher on Jurai always said that everyone has a song in
their heart. Some have to look for it longer than others, and some come upon it almost at once. But we should always strive to find the song all the same, and share it with the world. But for the longest time, I thought I was one of those that had to look a while longer."
Tenchi said nothing, continuing to listen but wondering what she was getting to. Ayeka began to wrap the lute back up in silk and continued.
"And then one day, about a year ago, I met someone who completely
changed the way I looked at my life. Someone who showed me where to find the song in my heart, to be brave and dig down inside of myself to find it.
Someone who gave me hope, and the possibility of a life beyond that of the lonely one I was born to live."
She finished wrapping the lute, then placed it inside of an ornamental case, sealing it with the touch of her hands. "That was the song you just heard, Tenchi. My feelings made manifest, and my love given form in a way I never thought possible. You see, I had a declaration I wanted to give tonight as well. I wanted to give my heart as a song, and I wanted to give it to you."
"Ayeka.." Tenchi started. The look she gave him silenced him.
"I just wanted you to know that" she said. "That all the while you
were standing around like a coward, afraid to make a decision, I was there loving you, loving you until I felt my heart would break. You made me wait, and wonder, and hurt, and I wondered what was so wrong with me..with you..that you just didn't have the eyes to see, or the heart to feel."
Tenchi did nothing but stare at the floor. Ayeka stood up and handed over the case, which surprised him out of his shame. He stared at it for a while, and then looked at her in confusion. Ayeka smiled thinly and nodded.
"That belongs to you now, Lord Tenchi. After all, a princess has no time for such frivolties. My heart is yours, has been yours, from the moment I met you, but naively I thought I could have yours in exchange. And so I have no use to express my heart any longer. Take it, and perhaps you can play for Ryoko one day."
"Ayeka, don't..please" he said, setting the case down and rising.
"Don't be this way..don't be so cold to me. I just.."
"Silence!" she said, the force of the word freezing his blood. "How dare you speak to me of being cold, Lord Tenchi! 'Cold' is the love of your life sleeping with your rival in secret, then dropping the word of her pregnancy in front of everyone! Did you even stop and think about how I would take that, Tenchi? Or were you so caught up in your love for Ryoko that you just didn't care?"
"Of course I did!" said Tenchi, feeling shocked and shamed at her
words. "But I just.."
"Just what, Tenchi? 'Thought of me as a sister'? Considered me just another member of the family, rather than someone who was in love with you?
You didn't think that deserved a more delicate touch than the one you showed tonight? Idiot."
"I..you're right, Ayeka. I'm sorry. I didn't think.."
Ayeka laughed. "Do you ever, Lord Tenchi? Did you not 'think' that
I'd find out about your little trip with Ryoko? She's not that clever, Tenchi. And what did you do on that trip exactly, besides the obvious?"
"We..got married" he said at last. Ayeka's color darkened a shade
further.
"Really. Well, I hope for your sake that she wore an off-white dress.
It certainly would have been 'cold' of her to make you think she was innocent."
Tenchi reddened. "That's uncalled for, Ayeka. She's my wife, and I
love her. You don't know half as much about her as you think."
Ayeka laughed again. "Of course, Lord Tenchi. But from now on, as far as I'm concerned, you can go and make as many bastards as you want with your monster woman, Lord Tenchi. I wash my hands of the both of you."
The shock of her words hit him with the force of a hammer in his heart.
He stood and stared at her, not believing that such words were possible from the princess. He went to the door and was about to leave, but she stopped him before he could do so. In her hand was the case, and her eyes were dark as thunderclouds as she gave it over to him.
"Don't forget this, Lord Tenchi. If you have any feelings left for me at all in your heart, keep it safe, and remember what it means." Tenchi took the case and opened the door, halting at the foot as if he wanted to say something to her. He turned and looked into her eyes, squuezing the handle tightly.
"Once again, I am sorry Lady Ayeka. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you personally after the wedding, and I am sorry that you're hurt and hating me for what I've done to you. But I won't be sorry for what I feel, and I'll never apologize for loving Ryoko. What I'm truly sorry for is that we have to end tonight like this, when I was hoping that you and I could still be friends. I'm sorry your heart is too cold and dead to see that I'm telling you the truth."
Ayeka looked at him, her face blank and betraying no hint of emotion.
"For one who sometimes must preside over the deaths of worlds, Lord Tenchi,
'cold' is a state that I have had to learn to live with. And as for my heart being dead, you're the one who's holding the bloody knife."
Tenchi closed his eyes and shook his head, then left the room. Ayeka closed the door after him and stood there, splaying her hands out on the wood as she dropped gradually to the floor, weeping uncontrollably. She had never cried so much or so hard in her life, and each sob ripped through her soul liked barbed hooks through flesh. She cried until the tears wouldn't come anymore, and then curled up in a ball on the matted floor.
"Take me, Gods", she prayed softly, the last of her tears falling down her cheeks. "Take me someplace where it doesn't hurt so much. I no longer have it in me to be strong. I loved him so much...I still love him. But he'll never be mine now, and no life at all is preferable to one without him."
And though she wanted otherwise, all the Gods saw fit to give her then was sleep, and perhaps dreams of a happier present, where dark-haired princes still vied for a princess's favors.
Labels: social psychology nlp romance modes just regrettable halloween online profile change record your first new marriage how nice company girls will teach
0 comments:
Post a Comment