To continue with another quote that could be pertinent to the subject is this from Sophie Tucker taken from "Women who date too much": "From birth to eighteen, a girl needs good parents, from eighteen to thirty-five she needs good looks, from thirty-five to fifty-five she needs a good personality, and from fifty-five on she needs cash."
True or not, it brings a little humor to the subject. So bear with me as I make a few suggestions, hoping to come up with at least ten ways dating is different after retirement. Maybe you can find a pointer that will benefit you.
Dating after 60 would be difficult. Society putting the retiree in an "old" category makes GETTING PAST FAMILY FEELINGS difficult. Our children, if indeed there are any, may not understand the need to meet new people. But I say Press on, senior citizen. Press On!
Dating later in life is UNSETTLING to say the least. Society has changed over the years since a retiree was young and in the usual dating years. Morality has changed as well. It seems one who gives is expecting to receive. So for a man to open the door for a lady, to pick up the tab after a meal - one could fear he is expecting more than she is willing to give at the end of the evening. Old fashioned courtesy for the sake of courtesy is questioned. Sad but true.
Isn't the field of SELECTION FEWER after retirement age? According to statistics there are more men and women who are looking for companionship and even marriage after 50, but wading through the multitude to find someone is unnerving to say the least.
When one is in their MID-SIXTIES, getting married may not be out of the question, however being too picky can get in the way. Don't sell yourself short for certain, but also accept that age has happened to the opposite sex and they too have CERTAIN CRITERIA they want met. So be prepared.
TV advertisements bombard us dating web sites. Knowing someone who has actually used these websites would be a good thing. I would come nearer believing someone I knew personally than those used in the ad. To put oneself on the web makes for VULNERABILITY and the FEAR of opening oneself up to cranks! The same goes for newspaper ads in the personal section. I see ads in the personals daily, people trying to meet people.
Companionship seems more important as we get older. Just to have someone to watch a movie with, or go to a nice restaurant. aving Having someone close to share conversation with is healthy. WE ARE SOCIAL BEINGS. We were not meant to be alone. We all agree however that some personalities have difficulty getting back into the dating scene.
Knowing how to ask questions while on a date, without looking like you are interviewing someone for a job, can be tricky. Of course, the ideal date is being introduced by someone you know who can vouch for the intents of the individual.
When I was in the working world, our service men who installed garage doors were forever being "hit" on by lonely women. These men were married, and even if some weren't they were able to know first-hand that there were TRAPS THAT SHOULD BE AVOIDED. Even when a retiree is serious about companionship, whether casual or otherwise, society has changed and both men and women's attitudes toward the opposite sex has also changed.
I know people who refuse to go to the SENIOR CENTERS of their community for dread of being considered "old". Yes, some of us do have trouble accepting that we like others have aged. However, there are many who frequent the centers that are still well and able to give companionship. They go for the socialization. The trips, or Friday night dances, or whatever the local group sponsors.
Church circles and activities sponsored by the church would also give opportunity for retirees to meet.
For sure it can/could be difficult for the person retiring isn't twenty anymore and usually time and years have given them different ideals of what they actually want in another person. However, after giving it some serious thought, then brace yourself for more of a selection than you might have anticipated.
Guest post by: Doris T.
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