On The Horizon

Web Wesley asked if I was thrilled about my dates. I move one tonight and unusual tomorrow night. I'd like to go on a date with Wesley, but he is thousands of miles to the left, so that would intense (and--oh, yeah--we're trying to work together, so perhaps not the best idea).

I wouldn't say "thrilled" is the word. A lesser shy, yes. I move this nice compare leave-taking, and I'm easily upset about having some guy wake up it. That's why I am re-implementing the fork (dating choice than one guy), to make assured I don't get hung up on one person. Of drift, taking into consideration I did that manipulate go out with I frozen up frazzled, mystified, and in conclusion exhausted and depressed, but this time it will be "divergent "(and God laughs).

This time, I'm putting the stress on having fun leave-taking out and flirting, plunder my time to get to appreciate people, and not stepping up to get emotionally attached. That's my big problem. I prevent to like people too obviously, and populace positive emotions allot a surround effect. I end up justifying flaws and incompatibilities, pushing my impracticality to the regulate by intense in my opinion that stuff will work out, as exactly as we get when Evils A, B, and C. Sometimes it feels like I don't move a choice in the matter; it's as if the opening knocks me over the forefront and decrees that I will become enraptured with a man, regardless of his politeness for me. I fall in love obviously and get frustrated just as obviously. It's a pattern I'm trying to break.

I don't commonly move a choice about what I feel for whom, but I do move a choice in how I act on populace feelings. Leader the weekend, at a group at Willow's place, Polly was praised my strength of character at avoiding Zealous Bar and told her boyfriend about how Ben swiftly liked me from the first night we met, how here was everything involving us, etc. (Why, Polly, "why"?). It started tenderness all over again, as he returned to the forefront of my belief. The new night, I was a traffic jam to the left from the juncture anywhere his play is to be theatrical, and I wondered if he was rehearsing, or on his way to rehearse, and prayed I wouldn't standing into him. At this point, I don't balanced want to go back to the bar, to the same degree I'm beneficial precisely and don't want all my progress undone. In this way, my engagements are aiding my emotions (out of sight, out of mind, out of place).

In addition to there's Wesley, who I don't appreciate well, but gives every demonstration of being the real empathy. He makes me joke, he's a great flirt, and he gives me assume that the good ones are out here (balanced if they aren't in my time zone). Wesley is data that the seduction community can be used for choice than a get-laid-quick scheme, taking into consideration I was beginning to move some zenith misgivings about men (mis)using PUA materials.

This is my favored part, the what happens right ahead of time. The anticipation. I move these two dates lined up for this week, a big go to see custom for in the same way as month, and several outings structured in involving. I move all this to look means to, and part of me wants to keep it that way: in the communicate superior, anywhere it's real-but-not-quite, anywhere it can't reasonably disconcert me, to the same degree it hasn't happened yet.

No, "thrilled" isn't the right word, but "shy" isn't bounty it, either.

In doubt.

I'm of two minds.

In the environs of goes...nothing? Something? We'll see.