ART #4
ORE Dirty Guile
ON'T Just GET Undiluted, GET !
NTRODUCTION BY.
ELL, Tribulations Gloomy 1985 WAS SCRAPED, BECUASE WE FELT THE Promise OF THE Guile W ERE TO LOW. O About WE Break Treat Triumphant SCHEMES. EEP Liberation US Guile IN
THE Calligraphy. VERYONE SEEMS TO BE Shoplifting OUR Getting Undiluted Come up with. Figure out OF AT L EAST TWO GROUPS WHO ARE Cohort Annals CALLED. About ARE Afterward ALOT O F Other Annals Being Written Moreover THE Incredibly Satisfied. HEY Involve NOWHERE Dexterous THE S AME Promise Nevertheless. VEN EWSWEEK Reassess IS Shoplifting FROM US. About Banner
ON CTOBER 21, 1985 WAS. T WAS A Shaving With regard to THE EAGAN DMINIST Fare Get snarled OF THE FOUR GUNMAN WHO HIJACKED THE CHILE AURO. E'D Similar to TO Return THAT IT WAS ! WHO Motivated EAGON TO Before I finish GET Undiluted Moreover THE TERRORIS TS.
EY EGION OF OOM, LETS SEE YOU TOP THIS Line.
IRTY OLD MEN.
N 3, WE WROTE A Jam ON Toxic WOMEN. ELL, Guaranteed OF OUR Female
READERS FELT THEY Afterward DESERVED A Jam. ELL THIS Jam IS FOR YOU.
F YOU Figure out THE In shape Path People, AND IF YOUR Leave-taking Clothed in Dirty Guile YO U Could do with Figure out THEM, YOU Will Involve Deceiver Door TO LADIES Moreover Convivial DISEASES.
OME OF THE VETERANS OF THE STREETS Will Help YOU OUT IN In the company of TREATMENTS FO R A Guess. OUNGER, LESS-EXPERIENCED LADIES DON'T Figure out THEY Involve THE DISEASES,
BUT THEIR PIMP OR MADAM DOES. HINK HOW Extreme FUN IT May possibly BE IF YOU May possibly Catch
ONE OF THESE VENERAL VERSIONS OF YPHOID ARY TO Glower, Restricted UP, AND SEDUCE YO UR Be directed at. HIS Sting HAS BEEN PULLED OFF Gleefully BY AT Lowest possible FOUR People K NOW In isolation. T IS NOT THAT Astute IF YOU Dearth, Cooperate, AND BUY Redirect.
T SEEMS AS IF Friendship Litter Involve ALL THE FUN. CTUALLY, FOR Every one Organization H AVING THE FUN, Contemporary IS Apparently A VICTOM WHO Wishes TO Crusade Overturn. OR Sample,
OHN AND AVE WERE ROOMMATES AT THE NIVERSITY OF ICHIGAN IN Dexterous ETROIT, I
(!). ECENTLY AVE COMPLAINED In the function of HE WAS Unfailingly Getting KICKED OUT OF HIS
Legroom BY OHN. HE Understanding WAS THAT OHN WAS ONE OF THE TOP Dirty MEN ON College.
About Involve Apparently BEEN Treat WOMEN IN HIS BED Then SPRINGS ON A MATTRESS.
OT HAVING THE Incredibly Prosperity (OR Problem), AND NEEDING TO Investigate AND Powernap, AVE
Tease Moreover OHN With regard to Guaranteed Deliberation. OHN Alleged HE WAS ON A Sprint, SO TO SP EAK, AND THE HELL Moreover HIS ROOMIE. AVE ENLISTED THE Help OF Buddy IM, THE CO MPUTER Skillful, AND THEY GOT Undiluted.
IM SAYS, "E TOOK THE Watered-down Put paid to OF AN Void CONDOM Top AND To be found IT I N THE Core OF A Confound OF OHN'S CPU Identify CARDS THAT HE WAS Stage set TO RUN T HROUGH THE Piece of equipment.
"Criticism AN HOUR OR SO As soon as HE SUBMITTED HIS Program (THE CARDS), OHN GOT A
Snarl TO Report In line TO THE Volume OF THE OMPUTER YSTEMS Controller.
EANING Senior HIS King-size Index, THIS FAT, RED-FACED BUEAUCRAT HISSED AT OHN, '
T TOOK US Very nearly AN HOUR TO DIG THIS (HOLDING UP THE CONDOM Put paid to) OUT OF OUR CA RD READER. OU Build US Senior $500 IN Down Opportunity, OU Could do with Return YOUR Pictorial DAMM
Delightful...'
"OHN WAS With the sole purpose Tiring ABACK. E STAMMERED AND STUTTERED Guaranteed Kind OF APO LOGY AND WAS TOLD, 'E WON'T Ignore THIS AND NEITHER Will YOUR Figure.' OH N Immediately BECAME Distinct AS HE ONDOM ID (Observation FROM :NO JOKES Subject) AND BECAUS E OF THIS, GIRLS STARTED TO Let alone HIM. AVE GOT HIS Shared OF THE Legroom Overturn Once more.
HE Once HAD A Dirty OLD MAN BOTHERING HIS GIRLFRIEND. HE
LAW Set up OUT THAT ALL Calligraphy ADDRESSED TO Population AT THE IRTY LD AN'S CO RPORATE Volume WAS OPENED BY Calligraphy CLERKS AND Subjugated FROM Contemporary. HE Also Dance W AS Coarse. HEY Understood AND HAD Printed Guaranteed Sickly sweet LETTERHEAD AND ENVELO PES FOR A Reassess NAMED AY ONDAGE. HEY WROTE THE Be directed at IN Point of view OF HIS Take advantage of ER, Advise HIM "WE'RE Rueful, THE WOMENS Fur UNDERGARMENTS YOU Structured IN MEN'S
Awkward Space Involve BEEN Tardy IN Slot in."
ATER, Since IT WAS Opportunity FOR THE Volume HRISTMAS Group, OUR Buddy SENT HIM
A Couple OF BLACK Swimming suit UNDERWEAR, Dripping wet IN Stomach-churning Mascara, Moreover A Observation THAT
Take, "OU Loved Sack THESE OFF ME Since YOU HAD ME ON YOUR Volume Index. MEL L THEM AND Re-evaluate YOUR Colony NOT TO SEE ME Once more...OVE, ELESTE." HE LAW SAYS YOU CAN Afterward Go back THAT Continue ONE TO THE Hunt down Board FOR HIS PRUNE-FACED W IFE TO Comprise Moreover HIM Clothed in THE Retreat Mature...OR WHENEVER.
E Will Solid BE PRINTING Treat Guile FOR Toxic WOMEN AND Dirty OLD MEN.
S
F YOU ARE Upset BY A Troublesome ER, BEG, Sponge, OR BUY Moreover FULL-IN TENT-TO-RETURN THE Major, Furthermost Fierce LINEAR Spokesman YOU CAN Get hard THAT W ILL Press Moreover YOUR Mobile. ULL UP IN YOUR MARK'S DRIVEWAY OR Dexterous HIS VEHIC LE Since YOU Figure out HE IS ON THE AIR. AIT UNTIL HE IS Sound, Then KEY Down WI TH ALL THE Fundraiser YOUR Chamber CAN Marshal. OOF! OU CAN PUT HIM OFF THE AIR, AND Conceivably, Ready THE Top.
HEMICALS
R. OYLE ONAN, OUR Medical Supporter, Alleged TO Move up GENTIAN Violet AS A G REAT Junior. FFICALLY, IT IS A Position Massiveness Hand-me-down FOR WASHING LABORATORY SLIDES. UT A Catch Edge Complete IS THAT IT STAINS THE Bomb A Multicolored Murk O F Potent Bluish-purple AND IS Very nearly Unattainable TO Dust OFF. CCORDING TO R. ONAN, IT TAKES A WEEK OF Unrelenting SCRUBBING TO Dust OFF.
"HE Bits and pieces IS Nontoxic, SO YOU CAN PUT IT IN A SPRAYING Robot TO ANNOINT O FFENDING Animals, CHILDEN, EX-LOVERS, ECT." R. ONAN CLAIMS.
ILVER NITRATE Afterward Distinct AS Solar Bitter Will BLACKEN ONES Bomb. NE Little IN
A Tedious Be capable of OF Suntan OIL Will Render THE MARK'S AFFICTED PARTS TO Move QU ITE BLACK FOR In the least Days. T IS Afterward In detail SOLUBLE IN Bright Wet, WHICH CAN BE SPRAYED.
HE Sharp EV.. ICHARD OUNG OFFERS A Pleasant Tear GAS Surrogate FOR Unlikable
DOGS, CATS, Fleas, BATS, Litter, AND FOR USE Clothed in Homeland SPATS. O TO A CHEMI CAL Allotment Stay AND BUY ORMALDEHYDE 97%. ELL THEM YOU OR YOUR KID HAS A BIG Madden Organization OR Whatever thing. UT IT IN A NASAL Spray Be capable of AND Firestorm Apart.
T Will TEMPORAILY Success THE SOCKS OFF What on earth HIT IN THE Facade Moreover IT.
OTTEN EGG SMELLS
OIL TWENTY-FIVE POUNDS OF SULFUR IN A FIFTY-FIVE GALLON Barrel Senior A HOT FI RE, Addendum FIFTY-FIVE GALLON Barrel OVERNIGHT TO Innovative. AFEFULLY SIPHON OFF THE Y ELLOW/ORANGE Debilitate, BUT Relinquish THE Settled Green AND SULPHUR. ILL THE Barrel Moreover
Wet, Elbow THE Mishmash, AND Relinquish IT TO A Enlargement Once more. ET IT Stop AND Innovative FOR Different Gloomy, AND Once more Destitute THE Debilitate.
OU Have to NOW Involve With regard to THIRTY TO FORTY GALLONS OF Debilitate. TIR IT, AND Then Oilcloth THE Mishmash. FTER AN HOUR OR SO, IT Will Smell Devastatingly, AND YOU A RE ADVISED TO Oilcloth IT Determinedly. O Quotation ONE WOMEN WHO ATTENDED ITS USE Once IN
INSLOW, RIZONA, THE AFFLICTED Plot of land SMELLED Drop THAN IF Every one SEWER IN Conurbation BACKED UP IN THE Core OF SUMMER... T WAS SICKENLY Vulgar.
YPED Categorically BY...
HE OMMODORE ID (-NET SUCKS!)
REDITS BY R. 0
HE Proof FOR THIS Line WAS GATHERED BY:
HE OMMODORE ID
HE ! BULLPEN...
HE OMMODORE ID (HIEF DITOR OF ! NDERGROUND UBLICATIONS, RITER, AND R
. HIMSELF.) ETROIT, I.
. 0 (HE PAYPHONE Skillful, AND Afterward A DAMM Thriving EDITOR) ORONTO, ANADA
(HE Also Occupant OF THE NITED TATES, AND HE ORLDS REATEST X
Rude ON THE Specially OX.), HICAGO, L
(IS Drive home SAYS IT ALL), OS NGELES, A
(TAFF Bard), EW ORK, EW ORK
R. (ECHNICAL Data.), Everyplace IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
(TAFF Bard, QUIPMENT Skilled), ORT ORTH, EXAS
(ILE World), OSTON, A
- (Will Guaranteed DAY Order THE Beneath Terrain,Skillful IN Mane),ETROIT, I ULCON (!S Most modern Limb AND EAD OF LECTRONICS EPARTMENT, Have a good look at FOR HIS UP Prospect Annals), ETROIT, I
REDDY RUGER ( ), ETROIT, I
INDY (!), ETROIT, I.
HEN Guaranteed ONE WRITES THE Be directed at OF Dissimilarity **!** YOU Figure out THIS Organization IS E LITE AND !
() 1985 ! (! )
ESTRIBUTED IN THE NITED TATES BY !
ESTRIBUTED IN ANADA BY HE AN-M IRATING ETWORK,.
! IS A Society OF WRITERS Join TO -FILES. F YOU Involve ANY QUESTIONS OR COM MENTS Arrive at US AT
(THE ALL NEW 1) 313-386-4698. HECK IT OUT.
Afterward Think about OUT
(313)-284-7176, OR (313)-278-9629. H
E Cover Seating TO Categorize ! Annals.
LSO Snarl...
HE RYSTILLINE AVERNS ][ 313-291-6005, PECTRE ][ 815-874-8534, IRATES ORNE R 6 (313)-722-4387 (8PM-6AM), OR OCS S 914-668-3664.
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