Wednesday, September 24, 2008
On Being A Grand Father
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Learn From The Events At A Dinner Party How To Have A Great Relationship And Marriage
There was a dinner party at my house, most of the attendees were women, and there was a whole lot to learn from their behavior. Let me share some of it with you...
As I write this it is late on Sunday night, and I've spent the day cooking and serving a traditional southern feast - barbecue pork, grilled chicken, baked beans, cole slaw, potato salad, and miscellaneous tidbits like a relish tray for the light eaters and Buffalo-style hot wings (yes, made with Frank's "Red Hot" cayenne sauce and butter, the real deal, and kudos to The Anchor Bar and all the other wonderful places in Western New York that serve them!) for the more adventurous. The kitchen is clean, the leftovers dispatched (mostly sent home with the attendees!), and here I sit with a big cup of coffee to tell you about it, because anytime you get this big of a group together, there are going to be lessons to learn.
The group was a bunch of people, mostly women, who work in my wife's office and a couple of their husbands, and some of my neighbors, 22 total, 5 men and 17 women, who had come to walk in a local breast cancer awareness event. Four of the five men were very strong alpha personalities like me, and the other was "just one of the girls," if you know what I mean. Annoyingly flamboyant and effeminate, and a total drama queen. We'll not be talking about him, by the way...
First, I have a reputation as a talented chef in my wife's office because a few of her employees have been to our house for dinner, and many of the women who came without an escort were there simply to see what all the hubbub was about. I was buzzing around the kitchen getting things together and running outside occasionally to check on the grill, and there were pots and pans on all five burners on my stove with beans, sauces, etc., and I wish you could have seen the women's faces as I was emptying pans into serving dishes, washing the pans up, and keeping the kitchen squared away and neat with all this activity. Why?
Because I was in charge and performing competently, moving quickly but not frantically, barking out orders for guests who had been in my house enough to be "extended family" and know where serving dishes and such were, generally involving about half the guests in the serving of the meal; the epitome of competence, leadership, and authority, and they were simply eating it up.
I'd catch them staring, smiling, and even primping, and if you want to see something funny, watch your wife's best friend catch herself involuntarily sending flirtatious or even seductive body language signals to her best friend's and boss's husband! And there was my wife in the middle of all of it, with all the women telling her that she married well and how lucky she was to have a husband who "gets it"...you can imagine how that went over as well...
So the first part of the lesson, Gents, is that in any kind of a gathering, no matter what is going on, if you are the guy in charge and acting like you belong in charge, the eyes of every woman around will be on you, attraction will be building quickly if you are acting like a man, and your partner will get hit with a double-whammy of attraction because she'll not just be seeing you do the things that light her up, she'll also be getting social proof of your attraction value from all the stares, comments, flirting, etc., from all the other women - we are talking attraction overload here, gentlemen, as long as you don't start acting like you wish your partner wasn't there so you could bed one of her friends, that is. That will get you either a lot of grief or killed unless your wife has rather versatile tastes, so don't go there.
The second part of the lesson is a big lesson on knowing what makes women tick. The group was large enough that it split three ways, 8 around the table in the kitchen (yes, it's a very large kitchen because I'm also a chef), 8 more around the table in the formal dining room, and the remainder, who happened to be the sports fans, in the TV room watching a football game (American football, not soccer) and chatting it up while they ate. This made for an interesting dynamic as the group divided, because those who ended up in the formal dining room were the more analytical of the group and in the kitchen were the more creative and emotional. I, of course, was in the formal dining room with those who are like me.
I heard voices rising in the kitchen as the emotions started to rise, and went in to find one of the women, a close friend of over 20 years to both my wife and me, crying. Thankfully, nobody was fighting. One of the men had made a remark about single parents not being able to be there for their children, and this woman had lived a very hard life to make sure that she was indeed there for her children in every respect, and she got overwhelmed as she was trying to describe some of the things she had gone through and was crying pretty hard.
The man who had touched a nerve kept trying to interrupt to apologize and smooth it over, and the women (and the effeminate drama queen) were sitting there rolling their eyes at him because he was interrupting, some trying to comfort her non-verbally and all trying to get him to take the hint. What happened next was magic, and something that you can and will do yourself after I describe it to you.
When women get amped up like that, they don't want you to fix it, or make it better. They NEED to pour it out and vent that excess emotion because it literally tears them up inside. They get that adrenaline pumping and all the neurotransmitters for pain and crisis start rushing, and as she pours it out cortisol is released to help deal with the stress and finally she will regain her composure. Knowing that, I caught the man's eye while standing behind the crying woman, and shook my head slightly in a "no" gesture and held up a hand in a "wait" gesture. He sat back with a concerned and rather pained look on his face, and I motioned to him to lean back in, thus inviting the woman who was talking about her experience to continue.
Again, I wish you could have seen the women's faces. They were looking at each other and my wife like "How the hell did he know to do that?" Literally awestruck because none of them had ever seen a man understanding a woman in an emotional moment, let alone coaching another man to handle it right. When she finally had poured out enough to pause and take a deep breath and try to regain her composure, I nodded to the guy who had struck the nerve and he apologized for upsetting her, assured her that his comments were not directed at her, etc., to smooth things over, and I stepped over to my espresso machine, dumped some heavy cream and bittersweet chocolate into a mug and melted it down with the steam wand, then quickly hydrated it and shot some whipped cream on top of it and set it in front of the woman, whom I knew to be a "chocoholic" and very sensitive to the serotonin-boosting effects of the polyphenols in dark chocolate (which cause enough of a serotonin rush to cause a mild euphoria in many people and everyone to simply feel more content). As far as these women were concerned I was walking on water. Why?
Several reasons: I had taken charge of a bad situation and turned it around by stopping a man from trying to be nice when he should be silent. I had known how to best help their friend while she was having a dramatic crisis, and had given her something that was so supremely personal to help her feel better after the crisis was past.
That was followed by all these women wanting to help clean up the kitchen, not to be polite, but because they wanted to be lead through something fun. (Yes, everything that happens in my kitchen is fun!) The flirting, hugs, compliments, etc., escalated all over again, and every one of those women thanked me for taking care of their friend like that. To them I was a hero, the icing on the attraction cake. Had I been a single man instead of their boss's husband, I could have expected any of the single ones to stay the night, and probably longer. As for my wife's response, that's personal, and I'll leave it to your imagination, but I will say that she smiled a lot and it was exactly what I expected. ;-)
I'll admit, maybe you had to be there to appreciate the full impact that this had on everybody; as long as I've been writing, I've never found words to accurately describe a woman who is eaten alive with attraction. I will tell you that the men were somewhat awestruck, and I got several covert comments from them to the effect of "I want you to teach me how to do that," as they were leaving. All but the one who was "just one of the girls," that is. But like I said, we're not going to talk about him...
So, gents, that was the day, and here I sit. I wasn't born knowing how to read and respond to women like that, not even close. Twenty years ago I would have tried to be nice, tried to immediately fix everything, and stuck my foot in my mouth and had that woman crying harder and every one of those other women so angry with me they would have left with their friend in tow to save her from me.
Today, my wife has a reputation for having the greatest husband in the world. I don't know if I am or not, and will never claim to be, but if she and her friends want to think that, I'm not going to argue with them, because I'm close enough for her and that's all that matters. In fact, I'll tell you a quick personal story to demonstrate.
We went to Niagara Falls once to visit friends and family (she's from that area) and ended up in a tourist shop. I bought her a bottle of water colored with green dye that had a label indicating that it was taken from the falls at night while the lights were shining on it, which is pretty funny when you see the bottle and have seen the spectacle of Niagara Falls at night. Normally she would have come out with something similar to that, but she found a T-shirt that says, "My husband is the 8th wonder of the modern world," and she snatched it up, held it close to her chest until she paid for it, then held it there most of the way home. I've noticed her wearing it often, and she smiles and hugs me when she sees me looking at it, often misty-eyed. Any questions?
What's important to you is that I learned everything that was necessary for today's events to unfold as they did, and so can you. It's not rocket science, it doesn't involve memorizing some encyclopedia of female behavior - I know about serotonin and polyphenols in chocolate from studying herbs and alternative medicine and making desserts, not studying women; all you need to know about it is how much your wife enjoys it and that it contains caffeine, so it can keep you awake if you eat too much of it too late; some nights that may even come in handy. ;-) In reality, women aren't that complicated. They merely seem complicated because they are different from us.
They take the long way around in doing some things, like getting through a conversation or making a plan, and they do some things that are downright self-destructive, like dwelling on negative emotions when there aren't any positive ones available, but once you see the ways in which they are different, it's very easy to understand and anticipate them, which in turn makes it incredibly easy to do something they love to have a man do: LEAD them, competently and with confidence, which turns them on like a light switch, and nearly as fast.
I had to learn all this the hard way, first by making the same mistakes that you have made, and probably more and bigger ones since it took multiple marriages to get it right, and then by getting a bunch of women together and working with them to figure out what I was missing, like really understanding how women think, what they need, what excites and bores them, and how to communicate with them, followed by getting their husbands into the action to test everything we'd uncovered, some of which turned out to be quite wrong, by the way, because women will at times say that they want something but will in fact respond very negatively to it when they get it. They called that a "booby trap" when I was in the service. Life with a woman is filled with them, and if you don't know how to watch for them, you are going to get something, possibly your reproductive organs or your life's savings, blown off sooner or later.
Or maybe you already have. I don't know. What I do know is that no matter how good it is, you can make it better, and it usually has to be so bad that she's obtained restraining orders from the court before it's too bad to save. I also know that there are some relationships that were doomed by compatibility problems from the beginning and should not be saved, no matter how badly you think you want to. It's a mine field, but I can walk you through it if you'll let me.
Just go to http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy of "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" and get started. If you're having problems, you may also want to download my free reports, "Break-Up Busting 101" and "What Women REALLY Want," by following the instructions at the end of this newsletter to help you understand what's happening and help you focus on fixing it instead of the fear that may be overwhelming you. There's not a thing in the world to lose except the time it takes to read it, and after four years, I'm still not hearing anybody saying anything except how great it is and thanking me for the results they're getting, so the evidence says you should try it, too.
In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham"Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham
As I write this it is late on Sunday night, and I've spent the day cooking and serving a traditional southern feast - barbecue pork, grilled chicken, baked beans, cole slaw, potato salad, and miscellaneous tidbits like a relish tray for the light eaters and Buffalo-style hot wings (yes, made with Frank's "Red Hot" cayenne sauce and butter, the real deal, and kudos to The Anchor Bar and all the other wonderful places in Western New York that serve them!) for the more adventurous. The kitchen is clean, the leftovers dispatched (mostly sent home with the attendees!), and here I sit with a big cup of coffee to tell you about it, because anytime you get this big of a group together, there are going to be lessons to learn.
The group was a bunch of people, mostly women, who work in my wife's office and a couple of their husbands, and some of my neighbors, 22 total, 5 men and 17 women, who had come to walk in a local breast cancer awareness event. Four of the five men were very strong alpha personalities like me, and the other was "just one of the girls," if you know what I mean. Annoyingly flamboyant and effeminate, and a total drama queen. We'll not be talking about him, by the way...
First, I have a reputation as a talented chef in my wife's office because a few of her employees have been to our house for dinner, and many of the women who came without an escort were there simply to see what all the hubbub was about. I was buzzing around the kitchen getting things together and running outside occasionally to check on the grill, and there were pots and pans on all five burners on my stove with beans, sauces, etc., and I wish you could have seen the women's faces as I was emptying pans into serving dishes, washing the pans up, and keeping the kitchen squared away and neat with all this activity. Why?
Because I was in charge and performing competently, moving quickly but not frantically, barking out orders for guests who had been in my house enough to be "extended family" and know where serving dishes and such were, generally involving about half the guests in the serving of the meal; the epitome of competence, leadership, and authority, and they were simply eating it up.
I'd catch them staring, smiling, and even primping, and if you want to see something funny, watch your wife's best friend catch herself involuntarily sending flirtatious or even seductive body language signals to her best friend's and boss's husband! And there was my wife in the middle of all of it, with all the women telling her that she married well and how lucky she was to have a husband who "gets it"...you can imagine how that went over as well...
So the first part of the lesson, Gents, is that in any kind of a gathering, no matter what is going on, if you are the guy in charge and acting like you belong in charge, the eyes of every woman around will be on you, attraction will be building quickly if you are acting like a man, and your partner will get hit with a double-whammy of attraction because she'll not just be seeing you do the things that light her up, she'll also be getting social proof of your attraction value from all the stares, comments, flirting, etc., from all the other women - we are talking attraction overload here, gentlemen, as long as you don't start acting like you wish your partner wasn't there so you could bed one of her friends, that is. That will get you either a lot of grief or killed unless your wife has rather versatile tastes, so don't go there.
The second part of the lesson is a big lesson on knowing what makes women tick. The group was large enough that it split three ways, 8 around the table in the kitchen (yes, it's a very large kitchen because I'm also a chef), 8 more around the table in the formal dining room, and the remainder, who happened to be the sports fans, in the TV room watching a football game (American football, not soccer) and chatting it up while they ate. This made for an interesting dynamic as the group divided, because those who ended up in the formal dining room were the more analytical of the group and in the kitchen were the more creative and emotional. I, of course, was in the formal dining room with those who are like me.
I heard voices rising in the kitchen as the emotions started to rise, and went in to find one of the women, a close friend of over 20 years to both my wife and me, crying. Thankfully, nobody was fighting. One of the men had made a remark about single parents not being able to be there for their children, and this woman had lived a very hard life to make sure that she was indeed there for her children in every respect, and she got overwhelmed as she was trying to describe some of the things she had gone through and was crying pretty hard.
The man who had touched a nerve kept trying to interrupt to apologize and smooth it over, and the women (and the effeminate drama queen) were sitting there rolling their eyes at him because he was interrupting, some trying to comfort her non-verbally and all trying to get him to take the hint. What happened next was magic, and something that you can and will do yourself after I describe it to you.
When women get amped up like that, they don't want you to fix it, or make it better. They NEED to pour it out and vent that excess emotion because it literally tears them up inside. They get that adrenaline pumping and all the neurotransmitters for pain and crisis start rushing, and as she pours it out cortisol is released to help deal with the stress and finally she will regain her composure. Knowing that, I caught the man's eye while standing behind the crying woman, and shook my head slightly in a "no" gesture and held up a hand in a "wait" gesture. He sat back with a concerned and rather pained look on his face, and I motioned to him to lean back in, thus inviting the woman who was talking about her experience to continue.
Again, I wish you could have seen the women's faces. They were looking at each other and my wife like "How the hell did he know to do that?" Literally awestruck because none of them had ever seen a man understanding a woman in an emotional moment, let alone coaching another man to handle it right. When she finally had poured out enough to pause and take a deep breath and try to regain her composure, I nodded to the guy who had struck the nerve and he apologized for upsetting her, assured her that his comments were not directed at her, etc., to smooth things over, and I stepped over to my espresso machine, dumped some heavy cream and bittersweet chocolate into a mug and melted it down with the steam wand, then quickly hydrated it and shot some whipped cream on top of it and set it in front of the woman, whom I knew to be a "chocoholic" and very sensitive to the serotonin-boosting effects of the polyphenols in dark chocolate (which cause enough of a serotonin rush to cause a mild euphoria in many people and everyone to simply feel more content). As far as these women were concerned I was walking on water. Why?
Several reasons: I had taken charge of a bad situation and turned it around by stopping a man from trying to be nice when he should be silent. I had known how to best help their friend while she was having a dramatic crisis, and had given her something that was so supremely personal to help her feel better after the crisis was past.
That was followed by all these women wanting to help clean up the kitchen, not to be polite, but because they wanted to be lead through something fun. (Yes, everything that happens in my kitchen is fun!) The flirting, hugs, compliments, etc., escalated all over again, and every one of those women thanked me for taking care of their friend like that. To them I was a hero, the icing on the attraction cake. Had I been a single man instead of their boss's husband, I could have expected any of the single ones to stay the night, and probably longer. As for my wife's response, that's personal, and I'll leave it to your imagination, but I will say that she smiled a lot and it was exactly what I expected. ;-)
I'll admit, maybe you had to be there to appreciate the full impact that this had on everybody; as long as I've been writing, I've never found words to accurately describe a woman who is eaten alive with attraction. I will tell you that the men were somewhat awestruck, and I got several covert comments from them to the effect of "I want you to teach me how to do that," as they were leaving. All but the one who was "just one of the girls," that is. But like I said, we're not going to talk about him...
So, gents, that was the day, and here I sit. I wasn't born knowing how to read and respond to women like that, not even close. Twenty years ago I would have tried to be nice, tried to immediately fix everything, and stuck my foot in my mouth and had that woman crying harder and every one of those other women so angry with me they would have left with their friend in tow to save her from me.
Today, my wife has a reputation for having the greatest husband in the world. I don't know if I am or not, and will never claim to be, but if she and her friends want to think that, I'm not going to argue with them, because I'm close enough for her and that's all that matters. In fact, I'll tell you a quick personal story to demonstrate.
We went to Niagara Falls once to visit friends and family (she's from that area) and ended up in a tourist shop. I bought her a bottle of water colored with green dye that had a label indicating that it was taken from the falls at night while the lights were shining on it, which is pretty funny when you see the bottle and have seen the spectacle of Niagara Falls at night. Normally she would have come out with something similar to that, but she found a T-shirt that says, "My husband is the 8th wonder of the modern world," and she snatched it up, held it close to her chest until she paid for it, then held it there most of the way home. I've noticed her wearing it often, and she smiles and hugs me when she sees me looking at it, often misty-eyed. Any questions?
What's important to you is that I learned everything that was necessary for today's events to unfold as they did, and so can you. It's not rocket science, it doesn't involve memorizing some encyclopedia of female behavior - I know about serotonin and polyphenols in chocolate from studying herbs and alternative medicine and making desserts, not studying women; all you need to know about it is how much your wife enjoys it and that it contains caffeine, so it can keep you awake if you eat too much of it too late; some nights that may even come in handy. ;-) In reality, women aren't that complicated. They merely seem complicated because they are different from us.
They take the long way around in doing some things, like getting through a conversation or making a plan, and they do some things that are downright self-destructive, like dwelling on negative emotions when there aren't any positive ones available, but once you see the ways in which they are different, it's very easy to understand and anticipate them, which in turn makes it incredibly easy to do something they love to have a man do: LEAD them, competently and with confidence, which turns them on like a light switch, and nearly as fast.
I had to learn all this the hard way, first by making the same mistakes that you have made, and probably more and bigger ones since it took multiple marriages to get it right, and then by getting a bunch of women together and working with them to figure out what I was missing, like really understanding how women think, what they need, what excites and bores them, and how to communicate with them, followed by getting their husbands into the action to test everything we'd uncovered, some of which turned out to be quite wrong, by the way, because women will at times say that they want something but will in fact respond very negatively to it when they get it. They called that a "booby trap" when I was in the service. Life with a woman is filled with them, and if you don't know how to watch for them, you are going to get something, possibly your reproductive organs or your life's savings, blown off sooner or later.
Or maybe you already have. I don't know. What I do know is that no matter how good it is, you can make it better, and it usually has to be so bad that she's obtained restraining orders from the court before it's too bad to save. I also know that there are some relationships that were doomed by compatibility problems from the beginning and should not be saved, no matter how badly you think you want to. It's a mine field, but I can walk you through it if you'll let me.
Just go to http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy of "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" and get started. If you're having problems, you may also want to download my free reports, "Break-Up Busting 101" and "What Women REALLY Want," by following the instructions at the end of this newsletter to help you understand what's happening and help you focus on fixing it instead of the fear that may be overwhelming you. There's not a thing in the world to lose except the time it takes to read it, and after four years, I'm still not hearing anybody saying anything except how great it is and thanking me for the results they're getting, so the evidence says you should try it, too.
In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham"Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
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The stake Equate your model match with SA Online Dating appeared first on SA Online Dating.
Source: womanizer-psychology.blogspot.com
How To Read Nonverbal Signals Of Other People
HOW TO Make clear NONVERBAL SIGNALS OF Extra Rush
Wacky tips to read the nonverbal signals of new peopleThe Top 10 Communication Skills
The in imitation of top ten tips for nonverbal communication can help you learn to read the nonverbal signals of new people and gloss your own ability to communicate industriously.
1A. PAY Disturb TO NONVERBAL SIGNALSPeople can communicate information in poles apart ways; so pay attention to belongings like eye contact, gestures, manner, body movements, and character of verbalize. All of these signals can speak about crypt information that isn't put into words. By paying earlier attention to new common understood behaviors, you will improve your own ability to communicate nonverbally.
2A. Look like FOR Contrasting BEHAVIORSIf someone's words do not match their nonverbal behaviors, you requirement pay harmless attention. For example, individual vigor tell you they are happy age frowning and staring at the handle. Explore has made known that on one occasion words fail to match up with nonverbal signals, people take care of to eschew what has been theoretical and concentrate moderately on understood language of moods, musing, and emotions.
3A. Concentrate ON YOUR Vital OF Verbalize When SPEAKINGYour character of verbalize can speak about a assets of information, ranging from sparkle to balance to anger. Kick off noticing how your character of verbalize affects how others riposte to you and try using character of verbalize to heighten ideas that you want to communicate. For example, if you want to show hard seasoning in no matter which, couch your sparkle by using an open character of verbalize.
4A. USE Great EYE CONTACTWhen people fail to look others in the eye, it can jingle as if they are evasion or trying to skin no matter which. On the new adopt, too noticeably eye contact can jingle querulous or alarming. While eye contact is an crypt part of communication, it's crypt to remember that good eye contact does not mean staring unalterably into someone's eyes. How can you tell how noticeably eye contact is correct? One communication experts bring to mind intervals of eye contact levelheaded four to five seconds.
5A. ASK QUESTIONS Vis-?-vis NONVERBAL SIGNALSIf you are mystified about unusual person's nonverbal signals, don't be nervous to ask questions. A good idea is to produce offspring back your notes of what has been theoretical and ask for interpretation. An example of this vigor be, "So what you are saying is that..."
6A. USE SIGNALS TO Upshot Communication A cut above Dominant AND MEANINGFULRemember that verbal and nonverbal communication work together to speak about a significance. You can improve your relaxed communication by using body language that reinforces and rigging what you are saying. This can be precise useful on one occasion making presentations or on one occasion speaking to a large group of people.
7A. Look like AT SIGNALS AS A GROUPA single panacea can mean any number of belongings, or in all probability stable nothing at all. The key to extremely reading nonverbal comportment is to look for groups of signals that shore up a prevalent point. If you place too noticeably importance on just one signal out of host, you vigor come to an deceptive go into liquidation about what a person is trying to communicate.
8A. Representation CONTEXTWhen you are communicating with others, unfailingly vision the situation and the context in which the communication occurs. One situations hunger after manager starchy behaviors that vigor be interpreted very differently in any new setting. Representation whether or not nonverbal behaviors are proper for the context. If you are trying to improve your own nonverbal communication, route on ways to make your signals match the level of reserve necessitated by the situation.
9A. BE Au fait THAT SIGNALS CAN BE MISREADAccording to some, a firm handshake indicates a strong personality age a feeble handshake is engaged as a lack of pick at. This example illustrates an crypt point about the gamble of misconception nonverbal signals. A lifeless handshake vigor certainly decide on no matter which as well total, such as arthritis. Regularly remember to look for groups of comportment. A person's glaring course is far manager telling than a single panacea viewed in division.
10A. Routine, Routine, PRACTICESome people just jingle to support a flamboyance for using nonverbal communication industriously and moral interpreting signals from others. These people are methodically described as being able to "read people." In reality, you can build this skill by paying harmless attention to nonverbal comportment and energetic disparate types of nonverbal communication with others. By noticing nonverbal comportment and energetic your own skills, you can sensitively improve your communication abilities.
Source: http://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/tp/nonverbaltips.ht
Sunday, September 14, 2008
The Soothsayer Words
"Don't allow the scoundrel to step into our village" she said. "What brings him here after all these years? No way! Akka is fine with us. Why does he was to disturb our peaceful existence?"
When the soothsayer(Kudukudupandi as Tamilians would understand) had announced in the wee hours of the morning that her husband would come looking for her she chose to ignore his words. He would come later in the day and collect some left over food and old clothes as a reward for announcing the impossible. 'Her husband Hari coming for her? Impossible' she had thought. He had left her long back and had maintained no contact since then. She had almost forgotten his face and could not recollect his voice. 'Had he ever spoken to her' she wondered, while she smiled to herself at the irony of things. Her marriage had been a farce, her husband having refused to take her along because the color of her skin was in sharp contrast to his. Hers was an arranged marriage and she was just twelve years of age when they married. As was the prevailing custom the elders in the family negotiated and fixed a date for the ceremony. The boy's mother had come along with a few other ladies to see her and expressed her approval. She had only hazy memories of the event. She had been playing with sea shells in the back yard when her mother dressed her up in haste and presented her to her future mother in law. Someone had asked her to sing and she was sent away after she had prostrated at the feet of those present. Her aunt later informed her that she was to get married to someone in far off Hyderabad.
After her marriage she continued to stay at her parent's place and was secretly happy to be allowed to remain there. It was her aunt who confided to her in hushed tones that her husband had refused to accept her presence in his house even as a 'maid servant'. He had married a beautiful girl from a neighboring village. His parents were truly sorry at the turn of events and had even returned the items given as dowry at the time of her marriage. They could do nothing more. Her parents consulted astrologers and palm readers who were unanimous in their opinion. The planetary position as indicated by her horoscope was not favorable to her leading a happy married life. Her parents were in no mood to defy fate and had accepted her presence in their home. She was a great asset to them in her own way. Over the years she had picked up a lot of culinary skills and house keeping. She was mild mannered and adjusted well with her brother's wives. She was a second mother to their children and an unpaid baby sitter to her neighbors who would leave their children with her when they had any important work to attend to. Twenty five years had gone by and her niece Ramya was now a beautiful young woman studying in college.
"What are you smiling at aunty?".....
Sita looked up to see Ramya eyeing her with curiosity.
"Nothing" replied Sita "I was thinking of what the soothsayer said. Sometimes they seem to read into the future."
"And what did he say?" Ramya asked.
"It seems your uncle is going to come for me soon." Sita's voice faltered for the first time and unknown to Ramya she wiped a tear drop that slid from her eye.
"Even if he comes you should refuse to go with him. He has no business asking you to accompany him. But wait a second aunty. He may want you to sign some property papers or may be he wants a divorce." Ramya seemed worried. "You won't leave us will you? What would we do without you?"
"Don't be silly child" admonished Sita. "Why would he come for me? He has a family of his own, a beautiful wife, children and a flourishing business. Why would he want a divorce now? I have never interfered with his life nor do I want a share of his property. He should be aware of all this by now."
"Why then is he asking to visit us?" Ramya persisted.
"You should take up law Ramya." Laughed Sita. "You'd make an excellent lawyer."
"This is no laughing matter aunty" Ramya continued to voice her concern. "Amma is right. He should not be granted permission to come."
"I've asked your father to allow him to come if he wants to. But I won't speak to him. In fact I've requested him not to call me to the living room as long as he is here. I don't even want to see him."
"Why then should he come at all?" Ramya sounded worried.
"We'll know soon enough. Now go to sleep. You have college tomorrow." Sita put an end to the conversation.
(To be continued)
THIS STORY HAS A AN ENDING THAT I SHALL REVEAL LATER.RIGHT NOW I WANT INPUTS FROM YOU.WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED NEXT? The last two post were serious ones we need a diversion.
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Saturday, September 13, 2008
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Friday, September 12, 2008
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Monday, September 8, 2008
How To Handle Girl Rejection
I ascertain from my own personal experience, that the finer I put myself out introduce and feel the crash of Repulse, it in actual fact gear me less.
I'm leaving to be repulsive for one second but I was listening to NPR yesterday and they were discussing anguish victims. They said that community who skillful anguish in their lives, no longer felt fear. It's as if they hit their tipping point at the back of being painful and full-fledged the notion system that secret message can be sink, so why be overcome. This made them sink passage recurring harder and with finer confidence.
I talk to hundreds of guys every week, thousands every month and they all fear the enormously eccentricity, REJECTION! So more accurately of putting themselves out introduce to plausibly be rejected, they don't do anything and get no argue. In my opinion that's just woozy. They are to a large extent rejectioning themselves, so that they won't experience For example REJECTED BY A Beast.
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GO OUT AND GET REJECTED 10 Time THIS WEEKEND!
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Friday, September 5, 2008
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Thursday, September 4, 2008
Mr Ej Motivation Encouragement And Inner Game
MOTIVATION/ENCOURAGEMENT:
WRITE DOWN 5 NICE THINGS THAT PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT YOU.
LAWYER PERSPECTIVE....
Reason: Realize your key strengths, what people like about you, so that even when you stop believing in yourself, you have EVIDENCE/KEY WITNESS STORIES/ FACTS that you are.
#1 -"Mind of Microsoft"
#2 -"genius"
#3-"you are really smart...... you are just too young for now"
#4 -"MVP" lol... my whole soccer team decided that I was the MVP for some reason. That was nice of them!
#5- Wow, you have potential to be even stronger than both me and him. - My personal trainer told me that. Not sure if he was stretching my ego a bit or what.. but thanks :).
Write down your key accomplishments:
Reason: Sometimes you just need to boost yourself up. I'm sure others have equivalent or even way better accomplishments or salaries, or achieved dreams!
#1 Landed a job at a major bank in Toronto for co-op
#2 Took my initiative to start my own Coaching business ;)
#3 Took my own initiative to try and make an NHL betting system
#4 took my own initiative to try and start my own dating website
#5 took my own initiative to talk to strangers and figure out the best way to approach women
#6 graduated with president's honors from university
WRITE DOWN 5 THINGS YOU WANT TO MAKE YOUR NEXT KEY ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Source: pickup-and-love.blogspot.com
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
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Monday, September 1, 2008
Marriage Becoming Obsolete
It seems that the female turtle Bibi attacked Poldi, burly off a part of his get out and along with attacked him a few disdainful times until last but not least they were put in unfasten cages.
115 years up in smoke. But this brings up an issue in my bubble that's been on the rise most recently which is an flatten that as life expectancies produce offspring, marriage becomes increasingly unfashionable.
The Rabbi Bradley Hirschfield wrote in the Washington Heap, "portray is no question that improved life anticipation and improved opportunities over that longer life will stow an feeling on who strong point be right for us, because."
A fresh Pew Investigate analysis showed that only 51 percent of U.S. adults are straight away married. That's a drop of disdainful than 20 percent starting 1960. If the stylish obsession continues, the luck of adults who are straight away married will drop to underneath imperfect appearing in a few years.
While I didn't see reported in any of the news broadcast concerning this Pew analysis was the effect this has on line or women. Indeed, not getting married makes it disdainful native that the man, who specifically earns disdainful, can wholesale in his elderly girlfriend for a newer model.
All of the news news broadcast seemed to cheerfully recognize the study as some soothing of release. But the lack of people getting married patently hasn't sluggish people from jumping into bed with one in mint condition. It's led to an produce offspring in abortions and line untrained to single mothers. And it's become spiky from studies that line in single parent households don't due as well as line with an active close relative and launch.
So we sit roughly and tell ourselves that we live longer at this point and who can be marriaged for that long. That soothing of thinking just says we can act like dwell in turtles. Enjoyment flora and fauna.
Origin: loveknowsnoage.blogspot.com
